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I am happy to help you and your family to get comfortable and gain confidence to talk about this tough topic. Let's zoom and review the body safety skills you and your family need to know to help prevent sexual abuse. We will develop a family safety plan and I will answer all of your questions.

I am happy to offer a review of your children’s book and provide a 30 minute author coaching session by phone or video conference.

Specific, individualized prevention training for your school program, church, or camp. Individualized training based on your needs. Copies of books and training manuals included. Call for a quote.

Going door to door, in a costume, at night, asking for candy from strangers? It makes you wonder who thought of this wild idea! (I just had to google this today! Halloween History.) As a body safety educator, I am not a huge fan of Trick or Treating and spooky, scary costumes. I worry about running kids running in the streets. I worry about teenagers picking on smaller kids. I worry about costumes that freak kids right out. Halloween brings me back to trick-or-treating with my kids. In 2006, my three kids and I were just minding our business... and some lunatic teenager dressed like an axe murderer ran after us with a chainsaw on Halloween. He was "just joking" and apologized profusely. He thought the kids would laugh. It was not funny! Not funny at all. When I saw this video of daycare workers scaring children with a mask on purpose, I realized that some people do not understand how terrifying Halloween masks can be to children. In my opinion, the video below is evidence of intentional emotional abuse and terror. WARNING: Do not watch this video near children. (90% of child sexual abuse occurs within the circle of people we already know and trust, like; family, extended family, friends, religious leaders, teachers, babysitters, and childcare providers.) Always plan a simple body safety review before every holiday. But Halloween requires a general safety review and awareness of age-appropriate fun with no fear. Don't get Spooked! 7 Super Safety Tips for a Scare-Free Halloween: For Kids Under 13: Prepare for the Scare: little kids may be very scared of scary costumes that they might see. Many children under the age of 5 have trouble understanding that a person in a costume... is in a costume. They focus on what they see and can not understand that there is a real person they know- under the costume. A 3-year-old may think a skeleton or ghost has literally taken over their teacher, brother, or mom. Imagine the terror- Protect your kids from this trauma! Go out early to avoid spooky, scary, creepy costumes. Insist upon kid-friendly, not spooky Halloween parties at school. Discuss masks and costumes ahead of time. A trip to Halloween Express can even scare a small child. UseDon'tcaution!!! Remind the older siblings to proceed with caution and not try to intentionally their younger siblings. Don't force it! Some kids Just don't like sitting on Santa's lap! And that is ok. Some children are very fearful of people in costumes and approaching strangers. Respect that fear and wave off the trick or treating if it creates any fear or anxiety in your child. Give your child body autonomy! Family-Friendly Halloween Alternatives: Try a pumpkin festival or a fall celebration."Some towns try to make Halloween more kid-friendly!" Try a pumpkin parade or scarecrow party. Make sure your child is with an adult and a buddy. Having a Halloween buddy is fun and provides an extra layer of safety. Young children should always be with a parent or other trusted adult. Practice holding hands, looking both ways before crossing the street, and checking in. Kids should not approach a door without an adult. Safety Stats: Make sure children know your cell and address in the event you get separated somehow. Halloween is the perfect time to review the family safety plan and check in with your safe adult list. Never hesitate to use a big black sharpie to write your cell number on that plastic pumpkin or on their hand! Technology Tools: Many children have phones! Use them for good. Turn the phone to “LOCATION ON” which allows parents to track their path. This provides a great layer of comfort for parents. Just Incase! Try FIND FRIENDS on your phone and your child's phone. Turn that tracker on! Don't make assumptions about safety: If you send your child out with another adult, do not assume they are going to watch and supervise your child the same way you do. Have that conversation ahead of time. Be clear in your expectations. Talk about it before you send your child with a friend. I hope this gives you a few extra body safety ideas for Halloween. May you have many more treats than tricks this Halloween. Be safe and well, Kimberly For more body safety ideas for holidays or just any day... please follow me at www.instagram.com/toughtopicsmom

As parents, we all want to keep our kids safe from harm. We teach our kids to wash their hands, cover their mouths, buckle up the seat belts, and always wear a helmet when riding a bike. Sexual Abuse Prevention is a bit more complicated than that. But, it doesn't have to be scary or difficult. The good news is that with investing a minimal amount of time in sexual abuse prevention education, parents and kids can be empowered. Learning about sexual abuse prevention can help parents protect their kids immediately. Abusers have specialized methods to choose and manipulate victims through a variety of techniques and tricks. They try to gain the trust of the child and family first and eventually move toward "grooming." Learning about the tactics and tricks abusers use will help parents be more aware. Here are some red flag phrases and tactics abusers may use. Sexual Predators come in all shapes and sizes. They can be men, or women. Statistically speaking they are more likely to be heterosexual men. Below are some of the Red Flag Phrases that you need to look out for and can be part of the grooming process. Our job as proactive parents is to learn the facts about sexual abuse, minimize the risk, and teach our kids about safety. Here are some red flag statements to be aware of and talk about as part of your family safety plan. 1. "Can you keep a secret?" Tactic: Secrecy Sexual abuse thrives under layers of secrets. If your child hears this phrase from an adult, it is a HUGE red flag. A skilled abuser may first ask a child to keep a secret that seems innocent, saying things like "Let's keep this treat our little secret." "Don't tell your mom we got ice cream before dinner." These are small, benign secrets that seem harmless. When confident the child has kept those types of secrets the abuser will move on to acts of sexual abuse, demanding secrecy about that behavior as well. At that point, the child may feel so guilty and ashamed that he or she feels they cannot tell. What you can do: Tell young children that they must never keep secrets from their parents. Watch our video on secrets. Implement a no secrets rule. 2. "You're my special friend." Tactic: Friendship Abusers try to build up relationships with kids by promoting common interests. They also try to establish trust with kids by attempting to make children feel special or unique. An abuser will try to gain the affection of his or her intended victim by sharing these likes and things they have in common. What you can do: A good rule of thumb to remember is that kids need age-appropriate friends, and adults need adult friends. Communicate and connect with your kids about boundaries and rules. Related: The 3 Big Red Flags of Sexual Abuse 3. "Let's spend some quality alone time together." Tactic: Isolation A big red flag! Adults have adult friends, not "special" kid friends. Any activity that requires an adult to be alone with a child is not safe, especially overnights. Abusers try to normalize certain behaviors and lower inhibitions. So, a situation where a child must change clothing or do a sleepover is inherently risky. What you can do: Don't let your kids spend time with adult "friends", not even your adult friends. Implement the rule of three. This rule requires that there should always be at least three people present - one adult and two or more children, or two adults and one child. 4. "Does somebody need a hug?" Tactic: Affection Pats on the back, a hug to say goodbye- may be completely acceptable in many circumstances. Because of this, many predators seek careers where they have easy access to children. Be aware of your child's reactions to other adults and comfort levels regarding physical affection. Do they avoid certain people? What you can do: Teach your children that if they ever feel uncomfortable about any physical contact, they need to tell you. Learn about consent and teach body autonomy to your little ones from an early age. Ask if anybody makes them feel uncomfortable with affection. 5. "Want to hear a dirty joke?" Tactic: Humor An abuser can lure a child closer by using jokes and games. These may start "G" rated. But, soon lead to "dirty" jokes, showing children online pornography, or by introducing sexual games. Part of the grooming process is trying to normalize sexual language and sexual activity. If your child is old enough to have internet access, make sure you are monitoring emails, texts, video games, and social network messages. A predator may send explicit materials through social media apps and video games. They may ask or demand inappropriate photos from your child. Kids can get easily trapped and scared in this predicament. What is alarming is how it starts. It starts with a liked post or a hello and seems harmless. Kids and adults can be easily tricked by these master manipulators. What you can do: Talk about online safety and show your child how a person can trick kids. Communication is key here. Let your kids know if they make any mistake here, to come tell you and you will support and help in a judgement free zone. If age appropriate explain what sextortion is and show examples of real children who were victims. Consider installing Apps like BARK to help protect and monitor your child. 6. "Your parents don't understand you. I know how you feel." Tactic: Empathy Sometimes, kids can feel isolated or alone, especially during family duress. Separations, divorce, or other changes in family structure or location can make kids more vulnerable. Abusers target single moms for this exact reason. Predators often target kids who feel isolated from their peers by using empathy. What you can do: If your family does go through a stressful period, pay attention. A great family counselor can help get ahead of some of these issues. Do NOT invite new boyfriends or partners to have unsupervised access to your children. Be extremely careful of introducing new people to the kids. Don't let new partners sleep over when the kids are home. 7. "Your parents will never forgive you if they find out what we did, you didn't say No!" Tactic: Shame A child is not able to give consent in a sexual relationship. The blame/ shame, control game is hard to handle. The predator will use a child's confusion and fear as they attempt to maintain control over the victim. This type of same tactic is common between child on child abuse as well. What you can do: Kids need to know that no matter how long any inappropriate contact or abuse has gone on, it is NEVER their fault, and you will always help, protect, and love them. Review with kids that it is always ok to tell and you will always believe them. 8. "Let's Play the Pocket Game" Tactic: Normalizing/Desensitizing Desensitizing child to touching and discussion of sexual topics: An abuser might start to touch the child in in ways that appear harmless, such as hugging, tickling, close dancing and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact. Including games that including hiding objects or money on underpants. Massages, and asking to shower at the same time. Abusers may also show the victim pornography or take children to sexually explicit shows or movies. They may encourage sexual topics with them in a fun setting - to introduce the idea of sexual contact. What you can do: Review body safety rules and body boundaries. And encourage your child to tell you if anything every happens like this. Remind them you are a safe adult and will help them. All kids need to know that sexual abuse is never a child's fault. 9. "It’s Normal! Everyone takes friends to Drag Queen Shows and Strip Clubs!" Tactic: Inclusion Abusers like to make their behavior seem normal, to avoid concern. For older teens, who may be closer in age to the abuser, it can be really hard to see the tactics used in grooming. Because teens are more impulsive and willing to explore. What can you do: Be alert for signs that your teen has a relationship with an adult that includes secrecy, controlling behavior, overly touchy, encouraging drinking or drugs, money, gifts, and sneaking around. Have constant and ongoing communications about body safety, body safety, and consent at every age. Talk to your kids about the dangers of drinking and encourage healthy, appropriate relationships with peers. Parents have the immense responsibility of trying to protect their families from sexual abuse. The best way to add a layer of protection is to educate yourself and your kids about sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can be prevented when parents learn the facts about sexual abuse and minimize the risks for the family.

There isn't a day that goes by that you don't hear about child sexual abuse! Horrible, disturbing stories leave families feeling scared and overwhelmed. The news is full of new tragedies, school shootings, violence, and war. As parents, we are overwhelmed and it has many of us searching. Many Dads are wondering what they can do? How do they keep their kids safe in this world? It got me thinking that we need more men, and more dads to be involved. Dads are the natural protectors with a primal urge to keep the family safe. But that is not all! And we have to take this moment to help dads feel more valued and connected. So, what can men do to get ahead of this issue for their families? What can dads do to protect their boys and girls? Engage in a different way: Our kids look to the men in their lives as role models. Dads are traditionally known for being a strong protectors of the traditional family. But, it is time for our dads to take on more responsibility as the challenge of keeping kids safe poses an even bigger risk. We need our dads to be tough and strong, but also soft and sensitive. Dads can show kids they care about emotional topics by engaging in conversation and being active listeners. Dads are so much more than our stereotypes. Maybe it is time for dads to step away from more traditional gender-based roles and connect in different ways? Find ways to Connect: Storytime is a great time for dad. Reading a story before bed is one of the best moments where dads can engage and connect with kids. If this becomes a ritual before bedtime, it will become a safe time where kids and dad can form bonds of trust. There is nothing better than getting a story and a tuck-in from your dad right before bed. When dealing with difficult topics, reading one of your child's favorite books is a good way to break the ice. To introduce the topic of body safety there are a number of easy-to-read books. Click on this link to watch a dad in action. Dad’s who read Talk about sexual abuse prevention: Although it might feel awkward- we have to get over it, for our kids. It might feel strange, uncomfortable, or weird to talk about this topic with your young children. Guess what, that is what the abusers are counting on. The gift of silence is an abuser's prize. If you don’t verse yourself and your kids on this topic it will put them at an increased risk. We have to get over the icky feelings and start talking. Why? Because although sexual abuse prevention is an adult responsibility, educated kids on this topic will be safer and less of a target. It’s ok for dads to get involved with all of these topics. Dads can volunteer! This is so important. And many dads connect in this way. Volunteer to be the coach to your little girl's softball team, Sunday school teacher for your son’s class, or at school. We need way more dads at school. Your presence at school is a deterrent. When dads volunteer at schools, organizations, or activities, their presence alone reduces the risk. Also worth noting: Pedophiles disproportionately targeted children with absent fathers. So be present and get involved. A great dad-founded organization that already exists based on this knowledge is Watch Dog Dads Verify the safety policies of all organizations where you leave your kids. Check out all organizations where your kids are involved. Make sure all groups have a sexual abuse prevention mission statement and follow appropriate procedures to keep kids safe. If they don’t have safe practices and policies… don’t leave your kids there. Eliminate the risk. Or ask for training programs to be implemented. Listen to a recent podcast on this topic with me and Renee Reina, PhD. on The MomRoom. Dads are welcome too! Be curious about the media your kids are consuming. Dads can take responsibility for monitoring online safety. The danger of online sexual predators lurks around every corner. Prepare yourself against this threat by researching how to protect your kids online. A great resource for parents can be found at Protect Young Minds. Dads can learn open communication techniques- when your child comes to you with a problem or complaint don’t close them off. Sometimes kids will report sexual abuse in a roundabout, Indirect way by saying something like, “My gym teacher is weird and mean”. Instead of reacting and saying, “don’t talk like that about your teacher” try an open communication technique. Ask Why? Or say, that sounds tough, tell me more. This is the key to understanding your child and developing healthy lines of communication for all topics. If you don’t ask them why you may be missing something incredibly important. When kids know adults are really listening, they feel so much more confident. When reporting abuse young children don’t usually come right out and say it because they are scared or confused. In my years as a teacher, I received 7 reports of abuse from children. None of those reports included, “ Miss King- my cousins made me touch his private parts last night.' It sounded more like, “ Miss King, I hate when my cousin comes over”. Your moment is here...Don’t miss it! Instead of saying, “that’s silly, be nice, he’s your cousin”, ask “Why? Or say tell me more”. Get creative with communication. Start a family journal where parents and kids can write to each other and ask/answer questions. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL OF YOU AMAZING DADS! For more helpful tips, giveaways, and live videos come on over to Instagram!

Body Safety for Kids from The Tough Topics Mom Whether you're an educator, parent, camp counselor, therapist, or caregiver, Kimberly King has the resources you need to teach kids body safety and prevent sexual abuse. Learn More I@Alexandra Szebenyik Hi, I'm Kimberly King I’m your mom partner in prevention. I use kid-friendly, easy-to-use strategies and resources that help you talk with your kids about tough topics like sexual abuse prevention so that you can empower and protect your family. @VictoriaLeePhotography Access My Empowering Body Safety Resources to Protect Your Family Online Body Safety Classes for Kids and Parents Click here Workshops Book Me Family Safety Consulting Get Help Available Books I Said No! A Mom's Choice Awards® Gold Recipient, I Said No is Amazon’s number one selling book on the topic of sexual abuse prevention. Written from a child’s point of view, it helps kids learn how to set healthy boundaries for their private parts. The book provides an easy-to-use system to help children rehearse and remember appropriate responses to help keep them safe. Learn More Get Your Signed Copy When Your Parents Divorce When Your Parents Divorce was written to help ease the anxiety, stress, and uncertainty family members experience during divorce. Told from a child’s perspective, the book helps both children and adults adjust to divorce in a positive, cooperative, and supportive way. Learn More Get Your Signed Copy Finding Your Fit Finding Your Fit is a valuable resource for families, therapists, educators, and others who work with children. It helps open the lines of communication and support needed when kids are developing their identity. The topics of fitness, nutrition, positive self-esteem, and acceptance are discussed through the experiences of “Gabby,” the book’s main character. Learn More Get Your Signed Copy Mom's Choice Gold Award Best Book Series

Making some waves in the news! We are talking about it! The Importance of Body Safety with The Mother Side on ABC How to talk about body safety with ease Talking about body safety and the importance of communication on all things before your drop your child off at camp. The questions you must ask as a parent and the discussions you need to have before your drop off your camper. Wake Up Safety Alert! Online Safety Tips that Prepare, not Scare! Simple tips for parents to protect their kids from predators both on and offline ​ How to talk to your children about preventing child sexual abuse In a kid-friendly, clear, engaging way The important conversations all parents need to have with their kids to keep them safe. Learning about the facts, minimizing the risks, and empowering your family with body safety skills help protect children from predators. THE MOM ROOM PODCAST- Episode 185 Project Name Join me and Renee Reina, your new mom-friend, as we chat all things body safety and kids. From babysitters to back to school body safety- we cover it all in a light, clear, engaging way to help moms get comfortable with the topic and communicate with ease on this often tough topic.

Sexual Abuse Prevention & Body Safety for Schools BOOK NOW School Author Visit Virtual STORYTIME with Mrs. King A condensed reading of I Said No! A kid to kid guide to keeping private parts private. We will take a break and head to the craft table to make red and green flags out of popsicle sticks, felt, and glue. As the crafts dry, we will get back to our story. Kids will use their flags to help complete the reading. We will review body boundaries, red flag scenarios, trusted adults, and the importance of telling. Ideal for children ages 4-8. Not icky! Kid-friendly mini-lesson. Fits nicely into anybody's boundary, health, and wellness, or sexual abuse prevention curriculum k-2 classroom. ​ Price: Contact for pricing and details Contact Kimberly for More Information Darkness To Light Stewards Of Children Official Stewards of Children Training © Includes Continued Education Units CEU’s and Official certificate of completion ​ Price: $300 2-hour training $10 per participant for D2L workbook ​ ​ Contact Kimberly for More Information Reviews Simply Safe Kids Training "Miss King is a kindergarten teacher and body safety educator. She puts on her kindergarten hat on and teaches about tough topics in a light, engaging, kid-friendly way. Our class did a lesson that involved body movement, choral reading, and an arts and craft project. She taught our class basic body safety skills that were fun and empowering. I didn't know that this type of lesson would be so engaging and memorable for the kids. My kids still use the language "I had a red flag!" She is a natural teacher with a passion for prevention.- Teacher Rebecca