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The Red Flag Phrases Every Parent Needs to Know to Identify Grooming Behavior and Protect Their Kids

Updated: Aug 4, 2023


It's hard to get a handle on how hard it is to be a parent during these difficult times.

But, we have control over how to be an empowered adult well-versed in body safety education and prevention. An adult who is empowered with body safety and prevention strategies can help prevent abuse and protect their kids.

A proactive parenting stance can help you manage some of these problems and drastically reduce or eliminate the risks for your family. Being able to identify grooming behavior to protect kids is the goal.

The stats are scary. Child sexual abuse is the most significant physical and mental health risk children face worldwide.

According to Lauren's Kids:

  • 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18. (The Advocacy Center)

  • 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. (The Advocacy Center)

  • 95% of sexual abuse is preventable through education. (Child Molestation Research and Prevention Institute)

  • 38% of the sexual abusers of boys are female. (A stat many don't talk about!)

A recent case in West Virginia Demonstrates how important it is for parents and children to be aware of grooming strategies. YES! We must talk to our kids about grooming and how it can happen in person or online. Not to scare them or freak them out. But to protect them. We have to become well-versed and savvy on the grooming strategies predators use.


What is grooming, you ask?

It is a series of behaviors a predator uses to gain trust, access, and time with a child with the intention of establishing control, isolation, and manipulation to sexually abuse a child. The West Virginia Case referenced above used some of the following strategies. Identifying grooming behaviors will help parents and kids understand and notice the red flags! Before anything too serious happens.

The Brave Knight book cover
The Brave Knight

Some of these strategies include:

  • Desensitizing a target child with benign touch.

Example Phrase:

(Does somebody need a hug? - examples include a causal pat on the back or too tight hug)

  • Encouraging Secret Keeping from adults

Example Phrase:

(Don't tell your mom we got ice cream)

  • Giving special attention or time alone with a child

Example Phrase:

(I am happy to stay after school and give you extra private tutoring for free)

  • Giving Special gifts, bribes, or even good grades

Example Phrase:

(This is a little present for you because you studied so hard)

  • Isolating the child from others

Example Phrase:

(Your parents and friends don't understand you like I do)

  • encouraging private conversations

Example Phrase:

(Let's not text... let's get on the signal app)

  • sharing adult, private information with a child online

Example Phrase:

(I am having such a hard time with my wife. She nags me all the time)

  • flirting with a child

Example Phrase:

(Don't you look cute in that little dress today!)

  • We have so much in common!

Example Phrase:

(Want to play an online game with me? You love Wordle... me too

Grooming tactics usually start benign as the predator lures in the family and the child and gains trust. All they need after the trust is two things...

Cover of the Best Selling Sexual Abuse Book for Kids, I Said No!
I Said No!


You can prevent that from happening!

Today, the Author and fellow sexual abuse prevention educator Diane Tarantini chatted about this article, the case, and how parents can get ahead of this topic and prevent it.

Listen here to our Instagram live below:

We are working hard to give you resources to keep your families safe.

This month we have a fantastic book deal for YOU!

You can buy both books in a bundle directly from us! with extra swag!

Contact Diane or me directly for more info on our

Back To School Sale! 2 Books for $20.00!

And Stay Tuned for more Back to School Body Safety.


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